Drawing to me is a bit like thinking aloud. It’s a space, where I can experiment and explore connections: of thoughts, of emotions, or sensations of thoughts and states I find myself in. I started this series during the darkest time of my life, when living with a chronic disease was being in hell. Ironically, this is when I introduced color. First in smaller formats that I am turning into a graphic novel, and then in this series called forms (of being), on a larger scale. The shapes are inspired by patterns found in nature, mostly monochrome as it was winter, up in the mountains, when I kicked off. The colour came intuitively. It felt like a bold move, as colour was not yet part of my drawing world. Maybe in defiance of the pain and the limitations that I am in, but also because of them: pain is, like breathing, getting older, decay and cycles, part of life.
Drawing became an act of resistance. An evidence of being alive.
On the way, I encounter the ambivalence of pain: it’s not all negative and ugly; it opens a vast, messy space and on it’s other, far end corner, desire is slumbering.
I continue to work on these forms in spasmic rhythms, moving on in the pace my condition allows.
Material: pierre noire and oil on paper or tracing paper
Photos: Karlheinz Fessl